You’re really aware of all of the things you do wrong, mess up, and could improve upon every day - but when it comes to focusing on what you do well...your brain is crickets.
if you’re never failing, you’re 100% playing it safe. You’re either consistently doing what works, or only making small, incremental changes, instead of taking the huge leaps that really change your life.
You’re not like everyone else.
You want something different. You want something bigger, bolder, and way off the beaten path.
Your wants and needs feel indulgent, crazy, and you feel like no one is going to get it.
I want you to know that I get it.
You have a really long running list of things you have to do and ways you’re letting yourself down. You feel completely overwhelmed in life. Think about those things that you must do today only.
You know those times when you want to do something, but you’re REALLY worried about what might happen? Your thoughts are racing, and you can only focus on how it might go wrong.
A huge reason why you don’t feel confident is that you aren’t celebrating your wins.
I’m not talking about going to nice dinners, trips to Fiji, or spa days. (Though lets be real, those are nice.)
I’m talking about daily acknowledgement of the productive things you are doing.
I just had the shittiest week I’ve had in a long while. I recently experienced a rare moment of failure in my business, and instead of brushing it off, I ruminated over it for a long ass time. I let it take over my weekend, and most of my week.
I know you’re stressed. You have too much on your plate, and what you really want is more free time in your life where you can focus on you, relax, and just enjoy life.
Let’s get one thing 100% straight: Your anxiety does not help you.
Putting a ton of pressure on yourself does not motivate you. Being critical of yourself does not make you better.
The only reason you don’t have the success you want is because you don’t trust yourself. Lack of self-trust manifests in a lot of different ways. Click here to learn more.
My first year in business, everything came easily to me.
I was never at a loss for clients, my business grew steadily, and I was charging a good rate. I earned enough to cover all of my tuition expenses for my coaching program, and my revenue exceeded my very sensible hopes and dreams.
The parts of your life that you’re unhappy with are completely, and entirely your fault.*
The job you feel stuck in, the habits you haven’t started, the 2,000 commitments that you can’t say no to - it’s all on you, seriously.
Stop focusing on your end goals.
Never thought you’d hear me say that, huh?
I know that taking risks is really hard for you.
The second you want to make a change, you get caught up all the “what if’s”.
You are important.
We’re all taught from a young age that to be selfish is a problem, and to be selfless is a virtue.
But we are never taught the in-between.
You need to be your absolute first priority.
It is not selfish.
It is natural.
And it is necessary.
I’m going to drop a truth bomb on you: The idea that you’re always supposed to be productive, energetic, working out, creative, etc., is a nothing more than a myth.
Actually, lets call a spade a spade: it’s a big fat lie.
Society has sold us a fantasy of what our “perfect” life should look like - and that perfect life includes doing all the things we’re “supposed” to do all. the .time. So if we’re not meditating, saying our gratitudes, working productively, exercising, and cooking and cleaning religiously, we feel like we’re doing something wrong.
I want to tell you a little tale about my best friend, Beth, who has been gracious enough to let me share her story with you.
For the past few years, one of Beth’s greatest struggles has been managing her free time.
#1 - She always feels like there’s way too many things to do.
#2 - She feels like she has to do the “responsible” things from her to-do list first.
#3 - She spends so much time procrastinating on doing the “responsible” things, that she never gets to the fun stuff.
#4 - As a result of numbers 1-3, Beth rarely feels good about how she spends her evenings & weekends.
What’s your current money mindset?
When you think about money, what feelings come up for you? If that’s tough, think about your goals and how money impacts your success. Do you get anxious? Do you get angry? Don’t judge yourself, but just become aware - this is your current money mindset.
Now that we know where you are, let’s figure out what you truly want and need.
If you’re like me, you started off January feeling really energized, and ready to take on the world. Now, you’re back to feeling a bit harried, and saying to yourself ‘It’s only been four weeks?’ (But seriously….it’s only been four weeks. Girl, what?)
Some of your new, sparkly 2019 goals may have also fallen prey to the January rush, and it’s hard to pick them back up. If so, I have a serious question for you:
How committed are you really to this goal?
In the early weeks of the New Year, life can feel like a blank slate brimming with opportunity….or like an incredible weight, crushing you with pressure. Maybe you made a long list of goals, and are overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things you want to get done. Maybe your list feels manageable, but you’re at a complete loss as to where to get started.
The end of December can feel like a bit of an “in-between” time. There’s not much more you can do to impact this calendar year, yet you still have a few weeks to go before you can officially throw the confetti and say, “New year, who dis?”
If you’re anything like me, you’re too interested in musing on the past and dreaming up the future to focus on the present right now. So, instead of being upset about not being productive enough, why not lean into your dreamy mood in a productive way?
I’m really lucky in my coaching practice. I have the pleasure of working with some of the most intelligent, badass, and overall amazing humans alive. Every session I’m so amazed by the massive shifts they make, how they dive into and remain committed to their goals, and the vulnerability they show up with in every single call.
That being said, one thing that never ceases to amaze me about the people that I talk to is that no matter how awesome, successful, and bright the person is, fear often runs rampant in their life. They “can’t” ask for that raise. They need to “take it slow” breaking off a relationship that’s holding them back. They aren’t “experienced enough” to launch their company.
Yesterday, someone asked me, "In what area of your life would you like radical change?" and I instinctively shut down. I refused to let myself think of anything. It's as if this person suddenly became a vampire - I instinctively reached for my holy water and a cross to fight off this monster who had dared come near me with their 'radical change'. "Leave me alone!" I thought, "I'm comfortable where I am, okay?"