How To Stop Negative Self Talk Today
I have a trip coming up in a few months, and I’m really stressed about it. I’m so stressed that I spend time thinking about it daily, even though the trip will only be a few days.
I rehearse what I’m going to say to people who will be there. I think about different situations that may come up. You name it, I’ve done it.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I didn’t realize it was negative self-talk.
I had just accepted those thoughts as daydreams, not realizing that they were coming from an anxious space.
Once I realized that’s what was happening, I knew I had a choice - I could accept the fact that I have these anxious daydreams as my fate…or I could actually get rid of them.
I could stop having the thought cycles that I’ve been experiencing for YEARS over certain moments in my life.
I could start living in the present instead of focusing on this part of my future.
Even writing it now, I’m getting goosebumps thinking about that future, that I know is completely accessible to me.
So, how am I getting there?
It’s easy y’all - I’m simply challenging the thoughts.
Seriously - I want you to think back to yesterday. Think to all the anxious thoughts, unhelpful thoughts, and good ol’ negative self-talk that popped up for you.
How often did you actually challenge it?
How often did you cut off your thought loops, remind yourself that what you’re thinking is false, etc.?
If you’re anything like me, sometimes you just didn’t. You took the thoughts as truth, or valid, and you didn’t challenge it.
If so, that’s your entire problem.
Here’s your actionable takeaway
Whenever you notice yourself having an unhelpful, negative thought...challenge it.
Challenging it can look a lot of ways:
#1 - If you’re caught up in a thought loop, you can just force yourself to stop thinking about the topic. You can shift your thoughts to something else, or focus on some things in the physical room.
#2 - You can tell yourself that this thought is irrational, not necessarily true, etc.
#3 - You can flip it and tell yourself what the actual helpful thing to think here would be.
I promise you, it is really, truly that simple.
Have questions? Reply to this email - I’m happy to chat with you about it.
P.S. Looking for more support around this topic? I have two spots opening up for 1:1 coaching soon - let’s schedule a chat and talk about whether or not working together could be a fit. I’d love to help you live the life you’ve always wanted.